A Caregiver’s Guide to Communicating With Those With Dementia
Communicating with a person or loved one who has dementia can be challenging. In this article, we’ll list some practical techniques that can help you overcome the difficulties you may encounter when interacting with someone who has dementia.
In this article:
Changing communication patterns among those with dementia
Guidelines for communicating with those with dementia
Things to avoid when communicating with those with dementia
Changing communication patterns among those with dementia
The ability to communicate is one of the main struggles of someone with dementia. As the disease progresses, your loved one’s communication skills become lessened, making it difficult for them to express themselves even for the simplest things. In some cases, those who are in the advanced stages of dementia lose their communication skills altogether.
RELATED: Early Signs of Dementia: 10 Signs to Watch Out For
While many of those with dementia generally struggle with the way they communicate, everyone’s difficulties vary. Problems with communication can manifest in the following ways:
Difficulty finding their words
Deteriorating writing and reading skills
Difficulty understanding simple statements
Struggles to keep up with everyday conversations
Tends to interrupt or ignore the one they’re talking to
Struggles to express their emotions appropriately
Guidelines for communicating with those with dementia
Even the most seasoned caregivers can sometimes struggle to effectively communicate with those who have dementia. Every day is an opportunity to learn and do better. Improving your communication skills doesn’t just help you better understand your loved one, sharpening your communication skills also helps put your loved one at ease and improves the quality of care you’re able to give.
Here are a few guidelines you can follow to improve the way you communicate with a person or loved one with dementia:
1. Go into the conversation with a positive attitude
Before talking to a loved one with dementia, it’s important to go into that conversation with a positive attitude. This isn’t just about sounding happy, pleasant, or respectful; make sure this positive attitude shows in your body language, too.
A good way to do this is not to be so tense when you’re around them. Use positive facial expressions to show your enthusiasm as you talk. You can even use reassuring gestures like nodding and hand-holding to set a positive mood.
2. Get (and keep) their attention
Make sure to catch their attention whenever you talk to a loved one or person with dementia. Have conversations with them in a distraction-free place. For example, turn off the TV and put your phone in silent mode when you want to talk to them. It’s also a good idea to invite them into a quiet room when you want to have a private conversation.
Another way to get your loved one’s attention is to address them by their name. Make sure to maintain eye contact as you talk to each other. Comforting gestures like holding their hand or getting down to their level if they’re seated is also a good way to keep their attention.
3. Use simple words and sentences
To a person with dementia, it’s important to speak as simply as you can. Keep your sentences short and plain. Have a little patience if they don’t understand you the first time! Give yourself and your loved one a few minutes to take a breather before repeating your statement or question.
What’s important here is your overall tone. When you speak, do so slowly and reassuringly so you can keep your loved one at ease. This is especially important if the person with dementia didn’t understand you the first time.
4. Ask straightforward questions
If you’re asking your loved one with dementia a question, phrase them in a straightforward and close-ended way. For example, if you’re helping them get dressed, don’t ask a question like, “Which shirt do you want to wear?” A better question to ask is, “Would you like the red or blue shirt?”
When you can, give them visual cues that can help them answer your question. Show them the red and blue shirt options—visual cues can serve as a guide for people with dementia.
5. Break everything down for them
When you’re talking to them about more complex tasks, make each step easy by breaking them down. Talking about steps one by one makes complex tasks more manageable for them and you as well.
If your loved one gets stuck on a step, be encouraging when you remind them of the next step. Be there to assist whenever necessary, so they don’t feel upset when they stumble along the way.
For example, if it’s time for them to take their medicine, take them through each step. Remind them that they have to first twist the bottle cap. If they have a hard time understanding you, take the bottle and show them how the bottle should be turned.
6. Listen actively
Listening isn’t just about keeping your ears open to what your loved one is saying. Active listening means understanding what the other person is saying and not saying. Watch out for the non-verbal cues and gestures your loved one with dementia is making. Combine these gestures with their words, so you know what they really want to say.
7. Reply with understanding
People who have dementia are often in a state of anxiety and confusion. Imagine how much more anxious and confused they get when you mention something they don’t understand! You can imagine the struggle they go through to respond to your questions, no matter how simple they may seem to you.
As their care provider, you need to be as understanding as possible each time you reply to your loved one. If they don’t give you an appropriate answer, don’t try to convince them that they’re wrong. Instead, encourage them and ask your question more simply and clearly. What's important is to always respond with a tone of support and reassurance.
Things to avoid when communicating with those with dementia
Now that you know better ways to communicate with a loved one or any other person with dementia, here are a few things you’ll want to avoid:
Arguing: Going into an argument with a person with dementia will only rattle them further and make communicating with them even more difficult.
Talking down: Being condescending to someone who lives with a condition like dementia, only serves to demean and alienate them, and isn’t a constructive method of communication.
Ask questions that require them to rely on what they remember: Asking people with dementia to recall things can be a taxing task on their end. Saying that, certain subtle memory triggers can be helpful in helping someone with dementia to recall things on their own.
Ordering them around: As their caregiver, you must assist and empower them to take on the day-to-day things they struggle with.
Talking about them as if they’re not there: People with dementia are humans. Even if they can’t understand what you’re saying at all times, they’re still people who deserve your respect.
Improving Dementia Care With Tunstall Healthcare
Caring for a loved one with dementia is a reality for many of us. While there remains no cure for the disease, we can help our loved ones who have dementia manage their condition with the right combination of care, medication, and monitoring devices.
RELATED: A Roadmap for Dementia Care: Dementia Australia Announces Plans to Improve Quality of Care
Providing your loved one with dementia a fall detector or pendant alarm gives them a direct line to a professional care monitoring team here at Tunstall Healthcare. We stand ready to provide immediate and around-the-clock assistance whenever and wherever it's needed. As a family member or caregiver, you'll never have to worry about your elderly loved one's call for help being ignored.
Enquire about how our fall detector and pendant alarm devices services can improve dementia care for your loved one today.
